Kelly's Inferno
by RobinIV
Summary: A familiar master of secrets guides me through my own version of Dante's infamous work.


Kelly's Inferno

By: Kelly Maraglia

Original: Dante Alighieri

A Fan fiction for Gothic Lit

September 22, 2001

Disclaimer: Please note that this story was written 4 years ago. I do not own any aspects mentioned, except me. Please do not take offense to anything as this was written for a class – 4 years ago.

Kelly's Inferno

A young wanderer found herself lost in place enveloped by darkness. She had strayed from the path of her stressful life into this place. It had been so inviting, with its never-ending blackness, but now the fear of not being able to return consumed her in waves.

She had just about given up hope when a deep violet light flashed beside her. When it faded, a man stood there. He was barely visible because of his dark clothing, but his bright amethyst eyes and violet hair stood out from the darkness. He also carried a staff with a blood red jewel encrusted in it. The mysterious stranger smiled at the girl

"Kelly, I presume?" He inquired. Kelly nodded in response, still in awe of the divine presence.

"Your beloved Mark has sent me to guide you to him, but first you must journey through the nine circles of Hell." The stranger explained.

"Why?" Kelly asked curiously.

"Don't ask me! You're the one writing this!" Her guide replied.

"Oh, yeah." Kelly remembered.

"Take my hand." He commanded.

"Who are you? Are you an angel?" Kelly questioned.

"Hardly! I am as evil as Mazoku go! I am Xelloss, the Trickster Priest and your guide." The Mazoku, Xelloss, laughed heartily and bowed in greeting.

Kelly was hesitant at first, but slowly she accepted the Mazoku's hand and they made their way to the gate of Hell.

ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE

Kelly gulped as she recognized the eerie words above the gate to Hell.

"If only Dante could see me now." Kelly mumbled as she followed Xelloss through the gate.

They soon came upon the First Circle. Kelly was horrified at the amount of blood spilled and exploding bodies.

From where she stood, she could a clown that was being beaten repeatedly with a crowbar, then being blown up. She could also see a pink lizard standing on a miniature crimson planet while it proceeded to explode over and over again.

"What poor souls suffer here?" Kelly asked her guide.

"These souls require no pity. They are annoying comic book and animation characters that never seem to die. The only reason they are in the least torturous circle is because they do not really exist." Xelloss put in plain words.

"Oh." Kelly replied. Then Xelloss flew her to the Second Circle. They arrived to horrible screeching sounds.

"What in nine Hells is that!" Kelly screamed, desperately blocking her ears.

"We'll move quickly through this circle and the next. This circle is where annoying pop stars and their groupies are doomed. Let us go!" Xelloss explained, quickly leading her away from the circle.

As Kelly looked back, she could see water raining on the then tormented souls. She watched their bodies melt and reform, only to have to repeat the process again.

"Is that acid rain?" Kelly questioned Xelloss. He nodded.

As they flew on to the Third Circle, Kelly saw a massive ship slowly sinking. It was the Titanic. On the sinking ship were Leonardo DiCaprio, James Cameron, Kate Winslet, and Celine Dion.

"Near. Far. Wherever you …. AH!" Celine and her backup dancers began to sing before the boiling lava cut them off. Kelly suppressed a chuckle.

"I always hated that song." She snickered. Xelloss smiled in response.

As they flew toward the fourth circle, they almost crashed right into an exploding helicopter.

"I think I see their parachutes." Kelly muttered, knowing that the souls exploded with the helicopter.

As she spoke, the souls reappeared in midair before plunging into a lake of acid.

"Uh oh. They fell right in the water hazard." Xelloss said sinisterly.

"Wow, cool." Kelly snickered.

"This circle holds those who dared to edit another's work and not allow the unedited masterpiece to be viewed." Xelloss explained, cringing as he heard a horribly whiny voice speaking his lines.

"This circle is also home to bad voice actors." Xelloss continued briefly before blasting the soul to oblivion.

"What did you do?" Kelly asked.

"I blasted him to the next dimension." Xelloss replied, smirking.

They continued to the Fifth Circle, slowing getting closer to the deepest heart of Hell.

The wanderer and her guide entered what appeared to be a bookstore. Kelly had to duck because they were hard cover books flying around, hitting souls in the head.

"What souls are punished here?" Kelly inquired, ducking as a copy of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire flew past her head.

"These are the souls of rude customers. They are damned for eternity to know irritation and pain." Xelloss enlightened her.

Kelly, who worked in retail, could barely repress her laughter. Most of the rude customers were in a line a mile long.

They always had an old woman who counted out her pennies in front of them and a mother with tantrum-throwing kids behind them. If they were not in line, they took turns being the one behind the counter that everyone screamed at, so they could know what they did to the poor retail workers in their life. In addition, an annoying high-pitched jingle played repeatedly.

"That is torture, but it's fitting." Kelly commented.

Ducking an Encarta Dictionary and Arnold Schwarzenegger's Bodybuilding Book, Xelloss guided Kelly to the Sixth Circle.

They teleported to a classroom setting and Kelly saw an extreme case of role reversal.

College-age students were at the front of the class and the class was filled with professors crying and trying not to fall asleep.

"This is where those professors who bored their unfortunate students to tears must suffer for eternity." Xelloss explained.

"It is a fitting punishment." Kelly commented again.

"Come. We must be off." Xelloss commanded. Kelly took his offered hand and they flew away.

They landed on top of a building in the Seventh Circle, only to have it collapse beneath their feet. Xelloss caught Kelly so she did not fall. They heard screams coming from the building and the ground below as it fell.

"Whoa. I'm having flashbacks of the news." Kelly commented.

"You should. This is the fate of those terrorists who attacked the World Trade Center. They are doomed forever to experience the fear their innocent victims knew." As Xelloss explained this, the World Trade Center reformed only to collapse again.

"See how those bastards like it!" Kelly said spitefully, her American pride showing in her anger.

Before they entered the Eighth Circle, Xelloss stopped Kelly briefly.

"This circle may be intense for you. Try not to lose your cool." He cautioned. Kelly nodded.

They entered to see a few girls chased by female demons. Kelly recognized some of her ex-pen pals and growled.

"They are already receiving their punishment for lusting after your beloved. This circle is where those destroyers or attempted destroyers of love spend forever. Calm yourself. The worst is yet to come." Xelloss warned and turned Kelly toward the most tortured of souls in the circle.

It was a creature composed of all the boys in the world who had played with girls' hearts. He destroyed hope and ruined dreams. He made fairy tales seem impossible. He was the breaker of hearts. He was the Ex-Boyfriend. This creature was helplessly chained to the wall continuously teased and tortured by the female demons.

Kelly could not see the creature, however, all she could see was her ex-boyfriend who had stolen the light from her eyes and had broken her spirit in half. He plunged her into a world of darkness, in which she remained until Mark rescued her.

Despite Xelloss' warning, Kelly lunged in fury at the creature. She did not reach him because Xelloss picked her up and forcibly carried her out of the circle.

"Let me go back! I need to kill him!" Kelly screamed.

"He's already dead! Besides, after the next circle you get to be with Mark! Do you want to dwell on the past or look toward the future?" Xelloss yelled at her.

Kelly stopped. She took a deep breath and looked back at Circle VIII.

"Rest in Hell." She whispered, saying farewell to her past and letting Xelloss guide her to her future.

Kelly felt sick as they entered the final circle.

"I'm having hot and cold flashes. I think I'm getting sick." She commented.

"No you're not. Look." Xelloss pointed to the inhabitants of the Ninth Circle.

The souls in this circle sat in a classroom and looked as if they were taking a test. The professor was constantly yelling at them that they were ignorant and on one side of them fire blazed, while the other side had icy cold winds.

"These souls were ignorant and stupid in their lives. They used excuses to make themselves seem better than their intellectual superiors and were pests, basically." Xelloss explained.

"I know a few people here." Kelly began. "I'm not too surprised." She finished.

"Did you enjoy your trip to Hell?" Xelloss asked cheerfully as they broke the surface of the Earth.

"Oh yeah!" Kelly said, her voice laden with sarcasm.

They landed in shadows. Kelly thought she was lost again until she heard the sounds of a horse galloping toward them. Then a white stallion halted before them. The rider was very handsome, with dark brown hair and beautiful sky blue eyes.

"I'll leave her to you then. She has completed her Gothic Lit. assignment and is ready to return to you." Xelloss spoke to the rider, bowed, kissed Kelly's hand, and vanished.

The rider dismounted and Kelly saw that it was none other than her beloved Mark.

"My prince!" Kelly exclaimed and jumped into his arms. Mark caught her and held her close. They kissed briefly before getting up on the horse and riding off together.

THE END


End file.
